Sunday, August 7, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
I chose my voice.
Imagine a spiral-permed, white girl trying to rap on the school gymnasium floor in front of multi-hundred students all staring down, open-mouthed from the bleachers. They couldn't hear any music past the first row of kids - but they could all hear ME loud and clear...
It wasn't a pretty sight.
In my head, I had imagined the entire student body standing up and clapping along...
In reality, there was shocked silence... and a few laughs...
And, needless to say, I didn't win that vice-presidential election.
But I did better than the girl who played the piccolo for her speech!
I'm just thankful that there isn't a video record saved out there in cyberspace!!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
So I'm testing out writing a blog post from my iPhone!! Yes... There's an app for that!!
These newfangled mobile phones are just amazing. Remember when all a telephone did was CALL somebody? And it was attached to the wall with this long cord? I used to have to snake the phone cord from the hallway, down the hall, under my door, and into my room if I wanted a private conversation! Now "talking" is something I rarely do on my phone!!-- Because my phone is also used for texting, gaming, reading, Facebook, navigation, etc. It holds my email, my calendar, shopping lists, books, photos, and more. These 40Gs of memory are packed full with various bits of information! I wonder what Alexander Graham bell would say if he could see us now!!
Of course our phone etiquette needs some work. My friend, Steph, recently informed me that I've become a "Text Turd" ... A person who can't leave her phone. It's either in my hand or in my pocket. I seem to have developed this insatiable need to have a tangible hold to The Grid. Being "off the grid" makes me feel physically uneasy... Like when I was a teenager and my Mom would vacuum the house-- I couldn't stand not knowing if the phone was ringing. (I still hate the sound of the vacuum!) at least now, I cam set my phone to "vibrate!"
I saw this funny guy on Conan who was talking about how technology is amazing-- yet still nobody's happy. Check this out:
Friday, April 29, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Here are some of my personal favorites:
Monday, March 21, 2011
WHY DOGS BITE PEOPLE:
Got any good photos of your humiliated pet? Feel free to email me at mags at magsgraphics.com!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
So I did some Googling and found these other interesting laws that are still on the books:
- One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.
- Dogs may not molest cars.
- A woman may not buy a hat without her husband’s permission.
- It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. (I'm not the best at geography... but I'm pretty sure there are NO oceans and therefore NO whales in Ohio!)
- It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
- Specific to Canton, OH: If one loses their pet tiger, they must notify the authorities within one hour.
- If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act to Prevent Certain Immoral Practices.
- One may not sniff glue.
- Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
You know I'll be back with the crazy laws from other states soon... because I'm SURE there are others!
In the meantime, I'm staying clear of Indiana between October and March... PEEEEEE-U!!
Friday, March 18, 2011
*Pause while I throw up in my mouth a little*
According to the founder of this unusual treat, "No one's done anything interesting with ice cream in the last hundred years."
So adding a little local milk is the answer??!
I wonder how long before this ends up on Bizarre Foods With Andrew Zimmerman?!!
I think I'll pass on dessert...!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Luke staged a 4-prong rescue:
- A set of paratroopers jumped from a plane flying overhead to try to snag the kitten on their decent.
- A fire-breathing dragon ambled in to burn down the tree and
- A tank lumbered to the base of the tree to catch the kitten as it fell from the incinerated tree
- Finally, if all of that failed, someone brought that ladder. :)
So it wasn't a surprise when a few years ago, he created THE BUS STOP SUPERHERO! For at least 6 months, Luke dressed up in a different superhero concoction and walked with us to Jack's bus stop. A Darth Vader Mask + a Ninja Turtle Sword + Batman Cape one day... a light saber + Wolverine Claw + Power Ranger costume the next:
And at the end of the day, the BUS STOP SUPERHERO crashes hard in his lair... ready to protect and serve another day.
No matter what the costume, we always knew we were protected at the bus stop when THE BUS STOP SUPERHERO WAS AROUND!!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
My Mom and Aunt ALWAYS told us to "go sit on the pot" when we were feeling sick!! Stomach ache? Go sit on the pot. Headache?? Go sit on the pot. Bleeding out our eyes??! Go sit on the pot...! ;)
And the scary thing is that's pretty much my own go-to answer to my boys when they've got an ailment.... :)
And those belated warnings of wisdom?
Yeah... I do that too.
I'm a helpful Mom that way...
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
In case you don't know, Lane Bryant is a plus-size women's store. And before you get your panties in a wad that I'm trashing overweight people, I've waffled across 3 sizes in the last 10 years and have shopped at Lane Bryant before so I feel qualified to say, "If you are wearing any size that ends in "W," Jeggings will NOT flatter your figure!" Honestly, jeggings won't flatter anyone's figure and really shouldn't be worn by anyone older than 10 years old, but that's just my opinion.
Speaking of signs, here are a few others that just aren't quite right, but will make you laugh just the same!
Found any funny signs? Feel free to post a link in the comments section,
Monday, February 28, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Yes... you read that last part right... there's a REASON Peggy got so many of those darn heart cards...!
And here are some other Relationship Funnies... maybe you'll find one you can use for your own card next year!
Happy Valentine's Day!