Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Forget Snakes, Snails, and Puppy Dog Tails...

... I think little boys are actually made out of burps, farts, and weapons!!!

When I was little, I expected that I'd have one boy and one girl as my future kids. I had planned to pull out my old Barbies and my complete Glamour Gals collection (including the 4-foot cruise ship!) to share with my daughter. And I figured that my future husband would handle all of that "boy stuff."

Fast forward to now, and that bubble has been popped! God had another plan for me that included NO girls and TWO boys! Actually between my husband, two sons, and our male dog, this house is overloaded with testosterone!!

Being surrounded by all boys, I've learned a few things:
  1. All boys are obsessed with farts and burps. Regular farts, armpit farts, long burps, short burps, cycling-through--the-ABC's-burps. I used to make my kids go into the bathroom if they felt the urge to make "potty noises" -- which was actually pretty hysterical because you could still hear them beyond the closed bathroom door as they danced and "sang" out their burp and fart noises.

  2. Boys LOVE weapons! I started out as that Mom who was going to keep those toy guns and such away from my kids. This ended one dinner hour when my oldest son, Jack, was only 3 years old. He held up a piece of misshaped broccoli and said, "Look Mom and Dad... It's a BROCCOLI SHOOTER!!!" He then proceeded to make gun noises and "shoot" us all right there at the dinner table!! By the time our younger son, Luke, turned four, we surrendered completely and just gave him an entire "Weapons Chest" for his birthday. A Rubbermaid tub filled with swords, shields, shooters, slingshots, numb-chucks, and a quarterstaff kept him occupied for hours. My kids are now 10 and 7, and they will turn, mesmerized toward the television if the Military Channel flips by.

  3. Boys & Sports go together. What IS this about??! Both boys play some type of fall football, winter basketball, spring baseball, and take swimming lessons in the summer (along with baseball camps, basketball camps, and football camps!). Most of my parenting time seems to be as a chauffeur - shuttling one or both of them to practices, scrimmages, games, and camps. We are a first-name basis with the associates at Dick's Sporting Goods - with regular trips to buy cleats, shoes, cups, and practice uniforms. Our garage houses baseball bat bags, basketball duffles, and an army of football uniform pieces. I came from a family that wasn't aware that sports even existed; my own efforts at soccer and T-ball were dismal at best... But I'm sure making up for it now!!
But a really COOL thing about BOYS is that they will try just about anything... including the really GROSS stuff. A friend of mine sent me a pack of Bacon & Cheddar Crickettes (a fancy way of saying "dead crickets tossed in bacon and cheddar flavorings"). These are REAL crickets... complete with little beady eyes and legs and wings. I offered them up to my boys to see if they wanted to try them (Considering Jack once thought the Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans Vomit Jelly Bean was tasty, I was pretty sure he would be up to the task, at least), and well... I bet those of you with GIRLS, don't have this kind-0f home movie:

(You're not missing anything on the sides, I took this vertically with my iphone.)

Sometimes... MANY times... I just LOVE having boys!!!

1 comment:

  1. LOL...I too love comments on my blog Maggie! Yes, there are many joys to raising boys. After raising 2 & now tackling the challenges of raising a girl...oh my! Boys are definitely easier! There is drama in a boys life but it is far more tame than the daily drama with girls and it starts at such a young age. No one prepared me for how early the girly drama begins! Enjoy raising your boys!


I'm a COMMENT hound... if you've read this, leave a note!